The other day I found myself looking back on all of my past dating experiences over 2009 and trying to reflect on what exactly went wrong (because trust me, something definitely went wrong). I mean why else would I be just as frustrated and fed up with dating in 2009 as I was in 2008. I mean, I guess I could do what many of us do and keep bringing our same old dating habits into the New Year and then wonder each year why we’re in the same unfulfilling situation that we were in the year before, right? I really did think about the whole Apathetic, “Who Cares, I’m going to continue to do me” approach, but I must admit, the whole sex and the city “single till your wrinkled look” isn’t exactly what I’m aiming for in 2010. (However, to all of you aspiring Samantha’s and Flava Flaves of the world—no offense intended). So, after several nights of intense thought, I was able to identify the THREE LAMES that I resolve to eliminate in 2010. Your feedback on any of these would be much appreciated.

THE ORGASM (Wasted 5 months of my time in 2009)

Now, we’ve all had one of these. This offender usually has an incredible sex game but not a damn thing in common with you. In fact, he/she may not even be capable of having a conversation to even figure out what you have in common in the first place. And after several frustrating attempts at having a normal conversation, you find yourself undressed, in his/her bed forgetting exactly what made you frustrated in the first place. And if your me, your not only forgetting what made you frustrated, but your also cooking and cleaning this offenders house and secretly fantasizing about having that type of sex, every day for the rest of your life (and yes I’m talking about marriage—it was that good). Now don’t get me wrong, I owe A LOT of orgasms to this offender. Correction, I owe A LOT of mindblowing orgasms to this offender, but simply put, his presence in 2009 caused me to waste 6 months of my year. Was it worth it?

THE TROPHY (This offender came in second place for wasting 4 months of my year)

Do u ever realize that the sexier the date—the bigger the headache? Why is that? Well, the truth is that we’re just willing to tolerate more from the trophy. (Most men, should be able to relate to this one). I mean, let an average looking date cancel plans and you will be all over them as if they committed murder. You may even cut them off. But, let the trophy make the same mistake, and all of a sudden “its okay babe, I know you have a lot going on.” Last year, I dated the sexiest, yet flakiest man that I have in my entire life, but I kept him around for the simple fact that he was eye candy. And, I have nothing but a photo and massive headaches to show for it.

GOOD ON PAPER (Last place for wasting 3 months of last year)

Now this is the “take home to the parents,” intelligent, good job, well-spoken, charismatic and sweet offender. Sounds good so far right? The problem is that there was absolutely was not and usually isn’t ANY chemistry. And I knew it from the first date, but I kept lying to myself and wasting my time trying to convince myself that there was or that it would “just take time.” I wanted it so bad to work, so bad that I wasted 3 month lying to myself. And it never dawned upon me that just because someone seems all right, doesn’t mean that their right for me.