Every so often, we feature a guest blog from one of our users. The following blog was posted by user Flyness. If anyone else is interested in posting a future blog, please email msjackson@nycblacksingles.com.

LADIES

1. Ruining the season for others.
Just because you’re not a fan of the holiday does not mean you have the right to be a “Stick in the mud” for others.  This includes angry Anti-Valentine’s Day “Tweets” on Twitter!  This is especially true for your friends.  If your girlfriend has a man, do not make her feel guilty about the holiday.  If she is truly your friend, let her be happy with her man and find another way to enjoy the day. 

 2. Moping around.
To my single ladies- I know it’s probably not easy to keep a smile, with constant reminders of “how single you are” being shoved into your face.  Yet, the worst thing you can do is sit around the house and “mope”.  Realize there are hundreds of thousands of single women in the Tri-State area alone.  Spend this day with friends at the movies, the museum, or even at a singles’ party.  There are plenty of singles’ events during this time of year. �
3. “Forcing” Love.
It is very easy to get caught in the hype of Valentine’s Day by spending the month of February trying to “lock a man down.”  While you should remain receptive to qualified men, it is another thing entirely to project your desires onto an undeserving man.  Don’t let the pressure of finding love lead you down the road of chasing mediocre and sub-par men.  It is far better to be a woman with no man than a woman with a “half-assed” man.  

 4. Expecting the world (and more) from your significant other.
|Women with “Significant Others” are not off the hook either.  It is almost impossible not to compare your V-Day gift from your man to the next woman’s gift.  However, in these recessionary times, a lot of guys have to scale back a bit on the financial side.  That means you should scale back on your expectations from a monetary standpoint. This year, pay more attention to the thought put into your Valentine’s Day gift, rather than the price tag.

 5. Thinking you don’t owe him anything.
It is no secret that women typically reap a majority of the benefits associated with Valentine’s Day.  However, do not forget to show your man some appreciation…or another woman will!  This could be as simple as taking him out to eat, or better yet, a surprise massage using a wooden massager from the Bath and Body store.  In fact, anything having to do with Food, Sex or Serenity are generally good gifts for your mate.  

FELLAS

1. Showing INITIAL interest by getting her Chocolate or Flowers.
(This is OKAY if she’s already your girl) Yes, many women will LOVE this, but it will NOT necessarily help your prospects with her! Save your cash.

 2. Doing the regular, mundane activities.
|Instead of a simple box of chocolates or a dozen roses, aim to do something creative that involves thought. You do not need to break the bank.  How about giving your lady a sponge bath after preparing a meal over candlelight? How about a road trip out of state to a cabin? How about buying rose petals (fake or real) and have her come home to a “rose pathway” leading to the bed with massage oil nearby with music playing in the background? For you recessionally challenged guys, write her a poem or note about how much she means to you. Frame it.  Total cost=$1 if you get the frame at the dollar store!  Add some spice to your Valentine’s Day!

 3. Getting too caught up in the moment.
Many guys run out of ideas and decide to “throw in the towel”, by proposing to her without giving marriage any real thought.  Other guys will say “I love you” to a jump-off because it “feels right at the time.” Stay practical, fellas!

 4. Spending a significant amount of money, if it’s not serious!
Piggybacking off number 3, make certain that you do not spend more than a couple of bucks on her (if ANYTHING), if she’s only a Saturday Night bootycall.  If you start spending money on her, she may begin to think you are developing feelings. If the feelings are not returned, she may accept the gifts, but may lose respect for you.

 5. Breaking up with her to avoid giving her a gift!
If you’re considering doing this, then chances are this was only a jump off that you never had genuine interest in.  We know times are rough, but breaking up with a female around this time of year is SUICIDE….and it might JUST lead to homicide! 

 For more information on Flyness and his books, check out http://www.FlynessPublishing.com

 Happy Valentine’s Day!