In this episode of Oprah, Will and Jada Pinkett -Smith discussed how they managed to make their relationship work for so long. What interested me most about their discussion was Will’s message to the audience that “Every relationship should have a business plan.” According to Will, relationships must be more than “I like you, you like me, so lets be together.” There has to be a larger vision consisting of what do we plan to do in the next few years, what are our goals as a partnership, what is our relationship vision?
Makes sense, right? But what does this mean for us singles?

I think Will’s message can be applied to singles and couples alike. If I’m dating someone simply to go through the motions with no goals or plans and no idea of their intentions, then any future relationship with that person is destined to fail. Here’s an example. In a past relationship of mine, I dated a guy for one year. I knew exactly what I wanted: marriage in the next 3 yrs, kids in 5, home ownership, etc. However, I never communicated this to him. Then one night, he mentioned to me that he wanted to have kids in the next two years. “Oh, so you want to get married in two years, I asked.” His response? “No, just kids.” Translation: He wanted a baby mama. It also turned out that this man had no dreams of home ownership and was completely content with renting his studio apartment long-term. I suppose the nursery would be in the kitchen. The point is, our visions were completely different. And I see this happen ALL THE TIME. So many people who are dating are afraid of being vulnerable and asking the questions “What are we doing?” “What do you want in the future?” But without asking these questions, your relationship has no vision. You are simply going through the motions and sooner or later will realize that the two of you may want completely different things.

Now if your goal is an orgasm, then this message isn’t for you. But for everyone else, you need to find out right away whether the person your dating has the same vision as you. If they don’t? Get the stepping. But if they do, then the two of you need to set out a business plan. When do you want to have kids? Do you even want to be married? Do you want to start a business together? If so, When?

“Going with the flow” was cool when we were in highschool, but as adults, we need to ask smarter questions. Well enough of what I think, what do you think?