Yesterday, a couple friends and I were talking and one of them threw out the question “What if you were about to get married in a few weeks and found out that your woman (future wife) had a past of being very promiscuous?” Would you still marry her?” I answered him by saying I would marry her. I don’t believe she should be judged on her past for things that were done before we met. Of course no one wants to end up in this situation but it does happen. Hey, the freaks and man whores you knew from college will likely one day be someone’s wife or husband. Lol.
There is one exception to my stance on the issue – I wouldn’t be able to move forward with marrying or even continuing the relationship if my woman has slept with numerous people I know and see on a regular basis. Other than that, a woman’s past is simply that – her past! One opposing argument is that a person’s past is a good indication of that person’s future. Well if this was the case, then maturation and change doesn’t happen. The fact is people do change and mature. Things that seemed fun to do and acceptable at the age of 22 may not be fun and acceptable at 30. People learn from their mistakes and grow as a person.
So what do you think? If you found out that your spouse had an unfavorable past by being promiscuous, could you get past that and move on or would it be a showstopper?
A member recently wrote me about a situation, he faced with someone he was dating. The story went like this:
I’ve been dating a woman for 2 months and we have been sexually active over the last couple weeks. In the beginning of the relationship, we had the talk about what we were seeking from this. I informed her that I had just gotten out of a relationship and was not ready to immediately move back into something deep but I was open to see how things progressed. She informed me she was looking to build something but she was ok with what I told her. Recently we had another talk and she indicated that she wasn’t pleased with what we were doing. She was displeased that after becoming sexually active, I am still not ready to jump into a relationship. She went further to say that since it’s doesn’t seem like we are building anything, there’s no point in us having sex anymore. She followed with “I’m not giving it up for free.” What does that mean really?
So I have to ask…What does that mean? Are women really out here giving it up thinking that the relationship will become more serious as a result? As in this case, the woman really views her sex as an asset. I guess she thought that the sex was just going to hook him. Lol. Well women, my view is that sex isn’t all that. Yes, we may like it a lot but it’s not going to be a major influence on a REAL man. A REAL man seeks deeper for things like good conversation, chemistry, career drive, and values. If he is not ready, he’s just not ready yet and that has nothing to do with you. BOYS may tell you what you want to hear just to get their rocks off but this guy did everything right. He told her up front where he was and did not send her down a path he wasn’t completely sure he could commit to.
What do you think? Is sex symbolic for relationship progression or is it just sex?
I hope everyone enjoyed the 4th of July weekend. I had the luxury of going out to Chicago for one of my friend’s wedding. It was a beautiful wedding I must say. One thing I noticed was that his wife had a Muslim religious background and my friend is Christian Baptist. I have seen the two of them together and their chemistry is something remarkable. I have never seen two people who fit so well together but I’m curious as to how they will handle their religious difference.
Before I go any further, I would like to say that I know everyone has different religious beliefs. Neither DMVBlackSingles nor this blog intends to pronounce any religion over another. I am Christian Baptist and the Bible has definite instruction on only marrying another Christian. Now I’m no Saint and I have not always followed the Bible’s instruction to a T but marrying someone who is not Christian is something I can’t do. One other reason on top of what the Word says is the dilemma of what religion my kids will be raised with. I asked my friend who got married on Saturday and he told me they agreed to expose their kids to both religions and to let the kids decide themselves. For me, that route is not sufficient. As the head of my household, it is my job to make every effort to ensure that faith in Jesus Christ is at the foundation of my household.
In saying this, I have sometimes dated women that had other religious faiths or even no religious faith at all but I was in the stage where I was not looking for a serious relationship. So what are your thoughts? Would you be open to dating someone who has a differing religious faith or would you X him or her out as a potential life partner? If you are open to marrying someone of another religious faith, how do you see handling the religious aspect of your relationship?
Yesterday, a couple friends and I were talking and one of them threw out the question “What if you were about to get married in a few weeks and found out that your woman (future wife) had a past of being very promiscuous?” Would you still marry her?” I answered him by saying I would marry her. I don’t believe she should be judged on her past for things that were done before we met. Of course no one wants to end up in this situation but it does happen. Hey, the freaks and man whores you knew from college will likely one day be someone’s wife or husband. Lol.
A member recently wrote me about a situation, he faced with someone he was dating. The story went like this:
