In this episode of “Truth Paste,” James Hannah addresses what he considers a serious phenomena among women in the dating arena: average women walking around with dime mentalities. According to James, a lot of women are using the number of men who approach them as a barometer for how hot they are. As a result, average looking women start to develop “dime” mentalities and demand more of the men they date then what they actually have to offer themselves. But what about those women who are actual dimes but have other flaws? Is James suggesting that these women are more entitled to quality men just because of their physical appearance? No worries ladies, James addresses these women as well. Using Chilli from TLC as an example, James explains that although Chilli is very attractive, she is still 39 with a kid and because of that she needs to downgrade her dating criteria.
Could James have gotten his message across in a less insulting way? Sure. However, as blunt, vain and critical as his message was, I have to say, the man has a point. So many times, I hear men AND women throw out a laundry list of items that they require of a potential mate , i.e. He/She has to be XX height, look XX way, have XX job and have XX personality. However, most of the time, we aren’t able to reciprocate the very things we ask for. If you have a beer belly or a high school diploma then how can you insist that your potential mate have washboard abs and a PHD? To say that I see this ALL the time is an understatement. Salary requirements are a prime example. The other week, I heard a girl on the train say that any man she dates has to make at least 6 figures because she worked hard for what she has and wants to live comfortably. What blew my mind is that she herself didn’t make that. How can a person possibly require more than what they have to offer?
So am I saying that cute people should only date other cute people and the rich should stay within their own? Absolutely not. But what I am saying is that you should take a realistic look at your own circumstances before imposing a list of unrealistic benchmarks for the people you date.
Well enough of what I think, what do you think?
LMAO! This guy is hilarious but he’s definitely stating some true facts. As a single guy in DC, I find it common that women walk around like they are the shit. Then you come to find out, they ain’t got a damn thang going on for themselves. I’m not trying to do any female bashing but I completely agree with what the blogger is saying. How can someone demand something from their partner if they don’t possess the qualities/accomplishments themselves. I also have a female friend who has made a similar comment. Her reasoning is that she wants a particular lifestyle and knows that she would not settle for a man who couldn’t offer that. But looking at her, she’s not making that kind of money so how dare she demand a man to. Oh, and getting to the funny point about the makeup mirror, women need to stop it with the funny looks when a man just simply says hello. All you women are not all that. Please come back down to earth. I have no problem complimenting women and treating them with respect but don’t give me the look like I did something wrong just for speaking to you.
Comment by Devon — June 11, 2010 @ 11:13 am
Ok, Although I a bit agree with this gentleman’s comments people are attracted to what they are attracted to. You can’t “force” a connection just because you feel slighted by what that person is requesting. Just move on to what may be more attracted to what you bring to the table. I am a short woman who doesn’t like to date short men a) because we both seem to have the “Napolean Complex” which doesn’t seem to fair well for positive communication within a relationship and b) I would like to fend off all possiblities if carrying the “short gene” to my offspring.
Now although I’m decently attractive, college educated and childless some men don’t like my size so then I just simply move on.
On the flip side I have dated men with children, a HS diploma at best and low funds who had the nerve to tell me the kind of “dimes” they were attracted to and how I’m not that. Maybe people today are just selfish and therefore real loving committed realtionships have become a thing of the past and more superficial fantisized conquests. I don’t know. just my two cents.
Comment by Tee — June 11, 2010 @ 12:38 pm
I’m from an old school family where my mother & father are still married & my father takes care of the bills although I see where men are coming from today but some females AND males need a reality check. My father has always told me to never be with a man who can’t do for you at least what your father can do. Men are providers by nature, but females have to keep in mind that POTENTIAL is a key issue. Do I want a man who makes 6 figures plus, of course, but the POTENTIAL to make it is more important. Now do I think it’s fair to say that I shouldn’t have a man who makes that kind of money because I don’t. No. I want a man I can grow with. II am on earth, and there are a lot of females that are.
I think most men today fall into a problem here: They go after the girl who spends her paycheck on make-up & dresses to go out to the club Friday night. She’s attractive but she’s not about much. That’s who you men are dating, straight knuckle-heads. When an attractive female who works, handles her business and has goals comes around she hears from men that “you’re always gone for work”, “you’re doing it all yourself, there’s no room for a man” etc. We never said any of that and we’ll make room for a man who is worth it.
Neither person in a relationship should demand the materialistic things. Not possessing the same shouldn’t be an issue either. Your partner should shine where you lack & vice versa. You should be able to support one another. If people were to only be with their equals you wouldn’t see too many relationships.
NOTE FOR MEN: Why some women act funny when a man says hello. First off you have to understand for a woman, no matter how she looks (okay maybe it matters a little) she’s been getting “holla’d” at since she sprouted boobs. It gets old, it’s tiring & it’s usually the wrong way. Think of how many times the avg. man thinks about sex or looks at a woman a day. That’s about how many times men “holla”. I hate that most black women can ‘t jog outdoors without horns honking, men yelling etc.
To the men who are respectful and approach women correctly, thank you for being gentlemen!
Comment by Kaye — June 11, 2010 @ 1:13 pm