PLEASE VIEW THIS VIDEO BEFORE CONTINUING.
So…about a few months ago, I was telling one of my close friends about an issue that I was facing with a man that I was dating (and yes we all tell our girls our business, so get over it). I was telling her how pissed I was because at the end of our argument, he told me “sometimes I need to just shut up and let a man be a man.” Of course, what he really meant was that as a female, I need to back down and be submissive sometimes, while as a man, he should have the last word. After I finished going off, and complained to my friend that he was still living in the 1920’s, my friend kindly forwarded me this video.
For those of you who have viewed the clip, her message is simple. Women need to “Step back and let your man lead and be a man.” Women need to embrace the traditional roles of womanhood in a relationship—taking care of the home, cooking, taking care of children, loving and uplifting our men. She also kindly suggests that men aren’t off the hook and their traditional roles are to “protect, provide, conquer and provide a home for women to nurture.”
I would completely feel the message of the clip, except for one thing…Its 2009! Traditional roles just don’t make sense in our times. Women are not in the workforce working the same 9-5 that men do. What these traditional roles do is give women all of the work and men all of the benefit. I mean think about it, in the 1920’s, women could do all that stuff…why? Because they sat their behinds at home all day watching their 1900s soap operas. But now, it just doesn’t make sense. You mean I have to work the same 9-5 you do and in addition, be a cook, a chef, a personal maid and a mute? While the man does what exactly? Oh yeah, conquer, protect and provide…. Let’s discuss each of these, just so that I’m clear.
1. Conquer- Its 2009, what exactly are you conquering? The remote?!
2. Protect- Maybe this was more relevant when we lived in the wilderness with lions, tigers and bears, but not now. I don’t know about the rest of you ladies, but I haven’t exactly been in the need of protection so far.
3. Provide- Wait, aren’t we both doing this?
So, I guess my point is…this traditional submission idea, simply doesn’t have its place in the 21st century. It gives us all of the burden of being in a relationship and none of the benefits. What do you think?
I think submissive is the wrong word to use because it connotes subjecting yourself to a man’s whims. Letting a man be a man doesn’t mean allowing him to trample over you but allowing him to play his part in the relationship. My Mom once told me that I wanted to wear the pants and the skirt in the relationship. I never viewed myself that way but her observation resonated and was dead on. I’m not comfortable relinquishing control over things that affect me to others. So naturally I always want to be in charge. When I dated a loving, caring, thoughtful man whom I trusted, I never had a problem with him having the final word on things or being in control because I trusted him. I knew that he put my best interests first. This is something he demonstrated to me on a regular basis, so he earned my trust. If I had a disagreement with him I told him without hestitation in a respecful, thoughtful and caring way. I was tactful not hurtful when I expressed my disagreement because in no way did I want him to feel as if he was being emasculated or disrespected. I don’t wish to address a person I love that way. Also, he never spoke to me that way and I wanted to reciprocate this love and respect. The best thing about this is that whenever I had a diffference in opinion he took it seriously and listened thoughtfully and respectfully. It was as if there was nothing more important than what I had to say. So once I witnessed that, I knew that if I said something once he would give it serious thought. He would sometimes agree with me and sometimes not. That was fine because I could see he respected and valued my opinions. We made it a point to communicate with each other in a loving and respectful way. It was one of the best gifts I’ve ever received in a relationship.
I am a strong-willed person. I am aware that this can be an asset as well as a liability. I’ve learned that this quality must be tempered in a relationship where compromise is always required. I have learned that a queen has to defer to her king and it does not make her weak or “submissive”. In fact, I have benefitted greatly from letting a man play his part. It gives me pride when I see a man stepping up to the plate and doing his thing. I love him more, I respect him more, I am enthralled and challenged to be a better person. I don’t view deference and compromise as submission. I view it as a way to enrich my life and learn because I don’t know everything and I can learn valuable lessons from my mate.
Women should be submissive to their HUSBANDS if and only if he is submissive to GOD!!!!!!!!! That way, she knows he is a good man to submit to because he is following and leading by God’s example.
When you find the right Man to be submissive to you will not have a problem because he will most likely be your husband. For women who have issues with that statement, it is because they know that they would not let that man lead their dog anywhere, yet they would invest time, energy and emotions in him knowing full well they are not on the same page. As far as the traditional roles and submitting, right this is the 21st century and with this new world order what is traditional for each family is going to vary at this point. Couples need to focus on what works for them and not so much on roles.
Comment by brenda denise — November 17, 2009 @ 12:00 am
I love to see the ladies doing their thing in Corporate America or whatever the profession might be (doesn’t matter), the times are different now and I think men often want to be in the dominant role of the relationship. Keep in mind, most behaviors either start at home or was taught at a very young age. You gotta admit, men do what they are taught or exposed to. Men often follow the male figures who raised and taught them. I know for a fact, you do what you’re taught. My father is a strong man and rarely disagree with my mother. He cooked, cleaned and dated her still to this day as well as maintained a successful career. Fridays and Saturdays were days set aside for movie and dinner dates for the last 40+ yrs. Mom never even used her drivers license because when her day was finished, we were outside waiting to take her home (EVERYDAY!!!). She never had to drive or worry about how she would get to or from her destinations. That continues still to this day and both are now retired and still the best of friends. My thinking was, “when I’m married, I wanna treat my wife the same way”. We do what we are taught or exposed to.
Its ok for women to give a little, but its equally ok for the husbands or men to give as well. It should never be a one way situation. My wife is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, sure we disagree. We also rethink, review and regroup. She’s everything I ever wanted and much more. God has really blessed me with someone that’s just as beautiful on the inside as she is outside. She’s a professional and loves me to death. I could never imagine wanting her to submit to anything (she shouldn’t have to), not even me. Women are just as successful as men in todays world, they make just as much money (if not more), they’re leaders and professionals in more ways than one. Exactly what would we do without em?? They’re the most fascinating creatures God could have ever created on the face of planet earth. I’m amazed at what you guys can do and you’re always getting better, the fact of the matter is brothers aint ready. Ladies, keep doing what you do. You’re the best at it, stay strong, stay beautiful, stay smart and keep pushin to make us better. We need you and we love you.
Times have changed but change aint always welcomed. The world wasn’t ready for Barack, they said it would NEVER happen. A black President of the United States (Are You Kidding Me). Well, be careful because we are looking at another Presidential Event that will Change the World Forever. Your next Administration name is The Hillary Rodham Clinton Administration. Ok, let me guess what the response will be again, It will NEVER happen right???? Ladies, you guys are awesome!!! Keep doing your thing…
I agree with some of the comments but I think raising men with these traditional values in a non-traditional era is misplaced. Now dont get me wrong, while I agree with the blogger, I will submit in the sense that I choose my battles, but I will not submit to traditional roles. I am currently with an AMAZING man, but key word is man. Like all men, he has an ego, so sometimes I keep my mouth shut, just to keep the peace in the house. And more peace= sooner i see the ring (take note ladies =p). No, but all joking aside, while I will let him make certain decisions and have the last say on certain topics, if I really feel strongly about something, I will choose that battle. And by not choosing all battles, he will know which things are most important to me. If you complain about everything, a man hears nothing. Now traditional, roles, thats a different story. I work much longer hours than he does and for him to expect me to play house after work is not only unfair but its egotistically. If we both work, then we both should clean. Now, if it does something for you to see me do the cooking while you do the manly stuff like sweep and mop, then fine. Likewise, if your prefer me to wash while you fold, thats also fine. But the key is to share the work. In a true relationship, you should be each other’s equals and i should not on the account of breast, have to become a homemaker on top of being a professional and sweep while you channel surf.
great post. Obviously for a people who have suffered under slavery, submission is a heavy word with serious and painful connotations. Especially for Black women, it has been two-fold submission: to the slave master and then your mate. Both of whom have used their position and privilege for their own selfish interests and not to forward the interests of woman or the family.
As men and especially, as Black men, this is a legacy and a history we must face and work to repair. Just as we wouldnt let a White person claim that since their family came to the United States after Slavery that they dont benefit from White Supremacy, we shouldn’t excuse ourselves from the legacy of our fathers, uncles and brothers which we directly and indirectly benefit.
At the root of the issue is, ultimately, a question of power. Neither one of us (Black women and men) have any actual power outside the confines of our relationships and homes. U ever notice that we seem to be the only people wrestling with this question? Please point out to me where any other ethnic group this is such an issue. I believe its a reflection of our social condition- We don’t have any power outside so we struggle for the lil bit of control we do have- over the person sleeping next to us. Who is right or wrong about doing the dishes is small beans when you have a world to run. Examine our favorite couple– the Obamas or the Carters. Both of examples of couples who are connected to their purpose and living it and have found ways to support each other.
To me the conversation about submission and tradition is so out-of-date and not historically true. When in the history of Black folk, have our women ever been submissive? NOT NEVER. We need to stop expecting it or believing that is true for us. Most of our mommas was never submissive to no man, less he was Jesus. Walking into 2010, we are reading a VCR manual trying to work our DVD player. We look silly.
It boils down to this around submission and tradition. Neither one of have it like we want it. We either get a VCR or get a DVD Manual. It is insanity doing the same thing expecting a different result. We see the results. Black folk lead the nation in divorces and children born out of wedlock. In 2010, we both have to accept our failings and responsibilities.
If Black men want a traditional woman, we have to provide the traditional supports which means providing for your family so her only job is to care for the household.
If Black women want a nontraditional man, then you have to unlearn old behaviors and develop new qualities that would attract that kind of man.
In 2010, lets use the other meaning of submission, which is “to present or put in.” Put in or present your best self as a submission, if we bring our best self to every situation, we can enjoy having “power with” our partner rather than trying to have “power over.”
Submission is not slavery to one’s mate just as submission to God is not slavery to God. I agree with the comment that said that women need to be submit to their husbands. There is definitely a balance as one of the other comments suggested that women need to submit to their husbands if their husbands are submitted to God. The balance is necessary because would you willingly or desire to submit yourself to an abusive spouse. My guess is probably not.
Something to think about…If the husband is submitted to God and the wife is submitted to the husband then ultimately they are both submitted to God…BALANCE…for God is the only consistent thing in life.
Something to think about if you’re not married…As a single woman, it’s easy to be caught up in the independence of it all, but because you allow someone to do something for doesn’t take away your independence. Also, because you allow a man to come up with his own ideas, open up a door, pay for your meal doesn’t mean that you are giving up your independence. You are still an independent thinker, independently beautiful, and you still have control over your choices and you still have a voice. Don’t lose yourself in the relationship so much that you forget who you are. Fight to keep your creativity, the things that make you, you. Fight to stay the woman that the man fell in love with in the first place. In submission, you give up your right to be right ALL the time and you open your heart to explore possiblilities.
Submission is not slavery, it’s an act, a characteristic
I had to add one more comment…I find it quite interesting that women want independence coupled with redefined roles yet when it comes to the proposal they still want the man to ask. If their man was a moocher, he would be a joke in their minds. If their man wouldn’t open the doors then it would be a problem…hmmm…just something to think about
Hold up people! The fact of the matter is, whether you like it or not, in order to be in a successful relationship, you have to have your partner do them! If you can’t give them that space to make their own decisions in the things he or she wants to do, then the relationship is doomed. Submissive, assertive, defensive, aggressive, you can call it what you want, but in order for there to be mutual respect, you need to let your partner do whatever they feel comfortable in. Do yall follow me?
If you all have been familiar with sports this decade, here is an analogy to put it in perspective:
Kobe and Shaq were both good enough to dominate a game by themselves. The trick was getting them to work together, which was difficult because both men were used to getting things done themselves. What they learned was that they could accomplish so much more if they worked together, and to do that they needed to complement each other. Shaq bullies the paint down low, while Kobe shoots and slashes from the perimeter. Shaq wears the other team down in the first half, while Kobe finishes the job at the end of the game. They both were so hellbent on doing for themselves; their egos prevented them from doing great things. So next time you clash with your partner, remember, don’t be another Kobe and Shaq!
I agree with you Willz. There definitely has to be a exchange of some sort. Even though I’m not into sports I do see where you’re coming from. If there’s a healthy exchange of leadership roles then theree can be winning relationships. For example, I’m the leader of a group that I sing in. If I I do all the singing (analagous to boss-hogging) then no one will ever see the talent the other member possesses and the group will lack continuity and finesse. Great point, sir.
Great blog. I will keep my repsonse humorous and insightful hopefully.
1. Thank those of you who understand submissive is for marriage, yet we use it in dating. Be submissive to your HUSBAND once to get one. NOT to get one then feel USED when you “friend” or “boyfriend” split. This is so misplaced!
2. Submission needs to be a topic where those two people sit down and talk the parameters over and clearly understand where thier views and mindsets are.
3. It is 2009 and women and men alike need to make sure they are not pulling things that like from the past and pasting them in the now to make them fit into their world.
4. Submission today is give and take. And stop it with MEN have egos. If women don’t have egos, I tell you want don’t get your hair, nails, or wear make-up to work. And tell me where you ego is a week later lol…
lol@ the idea of ‘letting a man be a man’. . . if you are REALLY a man, I don’t have to LET you do anything. simple as that. you don’t have the LET the grass be green, you don’t have to LET the sky be blue, you don’t have to LET me be a woman. the whole idea that I have to ALLOW you to be dominant is ridiculous to me.
Amen to this! I’ve been saying for a while that being independent is over-rated… (perhaps beause I’ve been this way for a long while) — but ultimately, I agree with being submissive, it doesn’t mean stupid… it’s truly embracing the real meaning of womanhood..
with all the successfull women in today’s society, I feel like indpendence is such a given… and we would gladly entertain the idea of someone else as the provider and the protector!
Yes, we females need to submit more to the man in our life. Females are afraid to do this because they KNOW they have not picked the right man and have NOT picked the right man for the RIGHT reasons.
I totally agree! We do need to be more submissive as women and start letting a man be the man!
Comment by Mocha — November 15, 2009 @ 10:21 pm
Good luck girl and be submissive to your men. When you home being submissive to him his out with that other women.
Comment by Angel — November 15, 2009 @ 11:33 pm
I think submissive is the wrong word to use because it connotes subjecting yourself to a man’s whims. Letting a man be a man doesn’t mean allowing him to trample over you but allowing him to play his part in the relationship. My Mom once told me that I wanted to wear the pants and the skirt in the relationship. I never viewed myself that way but her observation resonated and was dead on. I’m not comfortable relinquishing control over things that affect me to others. So naturally I always want to be in charge. When I dated a loving, caring, thoughtful man whom I trusted, I never had a problem with him having the final word on things or being in control because I trusted him. I knew that he put my best interests first. This is something he demonstrated to me on a regular basis, so he earned my trust. If I had a disagreement with him I told him without hestitation in a respecful, thoughtful and caring way. I was tactful not hurtful when I expressed my disagreement because in no way did I want him to feel as if he was being emasculated or disrespected. I don’t wish to address a person I love that way. Also, he never spoke to me that way and I wanted to reciprocate this love and respect. The best thing about this is that whenever I had a diffference in opinion he took it seriously and listened thoughtfully and respectfully. It was as if there was nothing more important than what I had to say. So once I witnessed that, I knew that if I said something once he would give it serious thought. He would sometimes agree with me and sometimes not. That was fine because I could see he respected and valued my opinions. We made it a point to communicate with each other in a loving and respectful way. It was one of the best gifts I’ve ever received in a relationship.
I am a strong-willed person. I am aware that this can be an asset as well as a liability. I’ve learned that this quality must be tempered in a relationship where compromise is always required. I have learned that a queen has to defer to her king and it does not make her weak or “submissive”. In fact, I have benefitted greatly from letting a man play his part. It gives me pride when I see a man stepping up to the plate and doing his thing. I love him more, I respect him more, I am enthralled and challenged to be a better person. I don’t view deference and compromise as submission. I view it as a way to enrich my life and learn because I don’t know everything and I can learn valuable lessons from my mate.
Comment by Anne — November 16, 2009 @ 9:00 am
Women should be submissive to their HUSBANDS
Comment by Jay — November 16, 2009 @ 2:56 pm
Women should be submissive to their HUSBANDS if and only if he is submissive to GOD!!!!!!!!! That way, she knows he is a good man to submit to because he is following and leading by God’s example.
Comment by Jay — November 16, 2009 @ 2:57 pm
When you find the right Man to be submissive to you will not have a problem because he will most likely be your husband. For women who have issues with that statement, it is because they know that they would not let that man lead their dog anywhere, yet they would invest time, energy and emotions in him knowing full well they are not on the same page. As far as the traditional roles and submitting, right this is the 21st century and with this new world order what is traditional for each family is going to vary at this point. Couples need to focus on what works for them and not so much on roles.
Comment by brenda denise — November 17, 2009 @ 12:00 am
I love to see the ladies doing their thing in Corporate America or whatever the profession might be (doesn’t matter), the times are different now and I think men often want to be in the dominant role of the relationship. Keep in mind, most behaviors either start at home or was taught at a very young age. You gotta admit, men do what they are taught or exposed to. Men often follow the male figures who raised and taught them. I know for a fact, you do what you’re taught. My father is a strong man and rarely disagree with my mother. He cooked, cleaned and dated her still to this day as well as maintained a successful career. Fridays and Saturdays were days set aside for movie and dinner dates for the last 40+ yrs. Mom never even used her drivers license because when her day was finished, we were outside waiting to take her home (EVERYDAY!!!). She never had to drive or worry about how she would get to or from her destinations. That continues still to this day and both are now retired and still the best of friends. My thinking was, “when I’m married, I wanna treat my wife the same way”. We do what we are taught or exposed to.
Its ok for women to give a little, but its equally ok for the husbands or men to give as well. It should never be a one way situation. My wife is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, sure we disagree. We also rethink, review and regroup. She’s everything I ever wanted and much more. God has really blessed me with someone that’s just as beautiful on the inside as she is outside. She’s a professional and loves me to death. I could never imagine wanting her to submit to anything (she shouldn’t have to), not even me. Women are just as successful as men in todays world, they make just as much money (if not more), they’re leaders and professionals in more ways than one. Exactly what would we do without em?? They’re the most fascinating creatures God could have ever created on the face of planet earth. I’m amazed at what you guys can do and you’re always getting better, the fact of the matter is brothers aint ready. Ladies, keep doing what you do. You’re the best at it, stay strong, stay beautiful, stay smart and keep pushin to make us better. We need you and we love you.
Times have changed but change aint always welcomed. The world wasn’t ready for Barack, they said it would NEVER happen. A black President of the United States (Are You Kidding Me). Well, be careful because we are looking at another Presidential Event that will Change the World Forever. Your next Administration name is The Hillary Rodham Clinton Administration. Ok, let me guess what the response will be again, It will NEVER happen right???? Ladies, you guys are awesome!!! Keep doing your thing…
Comment by deltrin — November 17, 2009 @ 5:43 am
I agree with some of the comments but I think raising men with these traditional values in a non-traditional era is misplaced. Now dont get me wrong, while I agree with the blogger, I will submit in the sense that I choose my battles, but I will not submit to traditional roles. I am currently with an AMAZING man, but key word is man. Like all men, he has an ego, so sometimes I keep my mouth shut, just to keep the peace in the house. And more peace= sooner i see the ring (take note ladies =p). No, but all joking aside, while I will let him make certain decisions and have the last say on certain topics, if I really feel strongly about something, I will choose that battle. And by not choosing all battles, he will know which things are most important to me. If you complain about everything, a man hears nothing. Now traditional, roles, thats a different story. I work much longer hours than he does and for him to expect me to play house after work is not only unfair but its egotistically. If we both work, then we both should clean. Now, if it does something for you to see me do the cooking while you do the manly stuff like sweep and mop, then fine. Likewise, if your prefer me to wash while you fold, thats also fine. But the key is to share the work. In a true relationship, you should be each other’s equals and i should not on the account of breast, have to become a homemaker on top of being a professional and sweep while you channel surf.
Comment by Princess — November 18, 2009 @ 1:16 am
great post. Obviously for a people who have suffered under slavery, submission is a heavy word with serious and painful connotations. Especially for Black women, it has been two-fold submission: to the slave master and then your mate. Both of whom have used their position and privilege for their own selfish interests and not to forward the interests of woman or the family.
As men and especially, as Black men, this is a legacy and a history we must face and work to repair. Just as we wouldnt let a White person claim that since their family came to the United States after Slavery that they dont benefit from White Supremacy, we shouldn’t excuse ourselves from the legacy of our fathers, uncles and brothers which we directly and indirectly benefit.
At the root of the issue is, ultimately, a question of power. Neither one of us (Black women and men) have any actual power outside the confines of our relationships and homes. U ever notice that we seem to be the only people wrestling with this question? Please point out to me where any other ethnic group this is such an issue. I believe its a reflection of our social condition- We don’t have any power outside so we struggle for the lil bit of control we do have- over the person sleeping next to us. Who is right or wrong about doing the dishes is small beans when you have a world to run. Examine our favorite couple– the Obamas or the Carters. Both of examples of couples who are connected to their purpose and living it and have found ways to support each other.
To me the conversation about submission and tradition is so out-of-date and not historically true. When in the history of Black folk, have our women ever been submissive? NOT NEVER. We need to stop expecting it or believing that is true for us. Most of our mommas was never submissive to no man, less he was Jesus. Walking into 2010, we are reading a VCR manual trying to work our DVD player. We look silly.
It boils down to this around submission and tradition. Neither one of have it like we want it. We either get a VCR or get a DVD Manual. It is insanity doing the same thing expecting a different result. We see the results. Black folk lead the nation in divorces and children born out of wedlock. In 2010, we both have to accept our failings and responsibilities.
If Black men want a traditional woman, we have to provide the traditional supports which means providing for your family so her only job is to care for the household.
If Black women want a nontraditional man, then you have to unlearn old behaviors and develop new qualities that would attract that kind of man.
In 2010, lets use the other meaning of submission, which is “to present or put in.” Put in or present your best self as a submission, if we bring our best self to every situation, we can enjoy having “power with” our partner rather than trying to have “power over.”
Comment by Megablast — December 9, 2009 @ 4:37 pm
Submission is not slavery to one’s mate just as submission to God is not slavery to God. I agree with the comment that said that women need to be submit to their husbands. There is definitely a balance as one of the other comments suggested that women need to submit to their husbands if their husbands are submitted to God. The balance is necessary because would you willingly or desire to submit yourself to an abusive spouse. My guess is probably not.
Something to think about…If the husband is submitted to God and the wife is submitted to the husband then ultimately they are both submitted to God…BALANCE…for God is the only consistent thing in life.
Something to think about if you’re not married…As a single woman, it’s easy to be caught up in the independence of it all, but because you allow someone to do something for doesn’t take away your independence. Also, because you allow a man to come up with his own ideas, open up a door, pay for your meal doesn’t mean that you are giving up your independence. You are still an independent thinker, independently beautiful, and you still have control over your choices and you still have a voice. Don’t lose yourself in the relationship so much that you forget who you are. Fight to keep your creativity, the things that make you, you. Fight to stay the woman that the man fell in love with in the first place. In submission, you give up your right to be right ALL the time and you open your heart to explore possiblilities.
Submission is not slavery, it’s an act, a characteristic
Comment by AC — December 20, 2009 @ 12:27 pm
I had to add one more comment…I find it quite interesting that women want independence coupled with redefined roles yet when it comes to the proposal they still want the man to ask. If their man was a moocher, he would be a joke in their minds. If their man wouldn’t open the doors then it would be a problem…hmmm…just something to think about
Comment by AC — December 20, 2009 @ 8:52 pm
Hold up people! The fact of the matter is, whether you like it or not, in order to be in a successful relationship, you have to have your partner do them! If you can’t give them that space to make their own decisions in the things he or she wants to do, then the relationship is doomed. Submissive, assertive, defensive, aggressive, you can call it what you want, but in order for there to be mutual respect, you need to let your partner do whatever they feel comfortable in. Do yall follow me?
If you all have been familiar with sports this decade, here is an analogy to put it in perspective:
Kobe and Shaq were both good enough to dominate a game by themselves. The trick was getting them to work together, which was difficult because both men were used to getting things done themselves. What they learned was that they could accomplish so much more if they worked together, and to do that they needed to complement each other. Shaq bullies the paint down low, while Kobe shoots and slashes from the perimeter. Shaq wears the other team down in the first half, while Kobe finishes the job at the end of the game. They both were so hellbent on doing for themselves; their egos prevented them from doing great things. So next time you clash with your partner, remember, don’t be another Kobe and Shaq!
Comment by Willz — January 5, 2010 @ 2:43 pm
I agree with you Willz. There definitely has to be a exchange of some sort. Even though I’m not into sports I do see where you’re coming from. If there’s a healthy exchange of leadership roles then theree can be winning relationships. For example, I’m the leader of a group that I sing in. If I I do all the singing (analagous to boss-hogging) then no one will ever see the talent the other member possesses and the group will lack continuity and finesse. Great point, sir.
Comment by AC — January 10, 2010 @ 8:10 am
Great blog. I will keep my repsonse humorous and insightful hopefully.
1. Thank those of you who understand submissive is for marriage, yet we use it in dating. Be submissive to your HUSBAND once to get one. NOT to get one then feel USED when you “friend” or “boyfriend” split. This is so misplaced!
2. Submission needs to be a topic where those two people sit down and talk the parameters over and clearly understand where thier views and mindsets are.
3. It is 2009 and women and men alike need to make sure they are not pulling things that like from the past and pasting them in the now to make them fit into their world.
4. Submission today is give and take. And stop it with MEN have egos. If women don’t have egos, I tell you want don’t get your hair, nails, or wear make-up to work. And tell me where you ego is a week later lol…
Comment by Pharaoh — January 10, 2010 @ 7:33 pm
Pharoah, I like your suggestion in #2
Comment by AC — January 10, 2010 @ 11:11 pm
lol@ the idea of ‘letting a man be a man’. . . if you are REALLY a man, I don’t have to LET you do anything. simple as that. you don’t have the LET the grass be green, you don’t have to LET the sky be blue, you don’t have to LET me be a woman. the whole idea that I have to ALLOW you to be dominant is ridiculous to me.
Comment by Rai — January 13, 2010 @ 1:32 am
Key phrase is, Equal Partners … that is all.
Comment by jnb — January 28, 2010 @ 11:39 pm
Amen to this! I’ve been saying for a while that being independent is over-rated… (perhaps beause I’ve been this way for a long while) — but ultimately, I agree with being submissive, it doesn’t mean stupid… it’s truly embracing the real meaning of womanhood..
with all the successfull women in today’s society, I feel like indpendence is such a given… and we would gladly entertain the idea of someone else as the provider and the protector!
Comment by Ashlynn — January 30, 2010 @ 12:39 pm
Yes, we females need to submit more to the man in our life. Females are afraid to do this because they KNOW they have not picked the right man and have NOT picked the right man for the RIGHT reasons.
Comment by Pharice — February 28, 2010 @ 7:49 pm