A wise person once said to me, “You have to go through the dark in order to truly understand and appreciate the light.” I truly believe this. I believe it applies to just about every area of our lives….especially our relationships. When entering into a relationship the unspoken expectation is perfection. You look for the perfect outfit for your first date. You pick the perfect flowers that capture and compliment her beauty. You prance around in a perfect pair of heels hoping to hold his attention. You wear the perfect cologne intending to exude confidence and charisma. Even the anticipation of future possibilities is perfect as you relish the essence of each unfolding moment.
While the euphoria of perfection may be commonplace amidst the newness of your relationship, reality will eventually nudge or maybe even smack you in the face. How can you know that your special someone is truly “the one” unless you’ve experienced some dark clouds hanging out over your relationship? How do you and your partner respond when what was once perfect begins exposing it’s imperfection? As often as most of us try to avoid pain and difficulty in our lives, it is the “going through” parts of our lives and our relationships that teach us to cherish the sweet times.
When you can see a person for who they truly are…flaws and all and still feel connected—that’s a good thing. When you can go through moments of intense conflict and anger and yet still manage to carry deep love in your heart for each other—that’s a good thing. When you can disagree with the one you love about something, realize that the two of you may always be in different camps on that issue and yet can’t deny how much you admire, respect, and even appreciate their point of view—that’s truly a good thing. In short, you need to go through a few things with your partner before you decide to go to the altar.
This is not to say that your relationship should be muddled in misery. However, if EVERYTHING has been peaches and cream and your relationship seemingly has sidestepped all strain and stress then you might want to think twice about taking the BIG step. But if you’ve been up and down, back and forth, and can still declare he/she is “the one” then you are off to a good start. If your relationship is worth having…..it’s definitely worth going through before you say I DO.
Blog provided by the Ma’at’s (http://bintentional.com)
Yesterday, a couple friends and I were talking and one of them threw out the question “What if you were about to get married in a few weeks and found out that your woman (future wife) had a past of being very promiscuous?” Would you still marry her?” I answered him by saying I would marry her. I don’t believe she should be judged on her past for things that were done before we met. Of course no one wants to end up in this situation but it does happen. Hey, the freaks and man whores you knew from college will likely one day be someone’s wife or husband. Lol.
A member recently wrote me about a situation, he faced with someone he was dating. The story went like this:
